mAvErIck spEAks

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I admit.


Yes. I admit. I admit that I am guilty of murdering. I admit that I am guilty of murdering myself. Yes. I killed myself. I killed myself, who stayed with me for the past 25 years. And hey you, I must tell you this…..that I never enjoyed your company. You always let me down....and thus today I don’t regret killing you.

You always were a burden to me, and you dare refuse that. Yes you were. When everyone enjoyed the usual childhood or youth, you drew me towards unknown paths. When everyone around had fun, you became my self proclaimed moralistic master and led me to a path devoid of all impurities. Why…

Did you think that you were smart or something…no you were not. Nobody even cared that you are trying to be good and kind. You always lost to those inferior to you…why? Just because you were trying to be good in this bad world. The world loves baddies. Didn’t you know that….you scum. And when you tried to turn baddy, knowing that you are practically incapable of doing this, you proved a failure. How miserably you lost, in life and with you I lost too.

Why couldn’t you lead a simple life, a life like a normal mortal lives, with his share of good, bad, love, hate, sins, good deeds, bad deeds. Why you always swam challenging the stream? What did you get of all this? You lost your life.

But now you are dead. And I believe that now you won’t resurrect out of ashes like phoenix and piss my life again. Nobody wants you, trust me, nobody. And hey you…since you are dead and gone, don’t try to bring in any ghostly tricks and haunt my life. I just can’t bear you anymore.

I should have killed you much before…

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