mAvErIck spEAks

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Far from the maddening crowd



The sound is getting clearer. What were mumblings are now making some sense. I cannot see anything; its still pitch dark. But sounds are certainly hammering on my head. Perhaps Pa is on his way to offer water to sun. Yes it is him; chanting mantras, which I could never understand. Maa perhaps is in the kitchen, preparing breakfast, mumbling something, which isn’t clear to me. A radio is playing some familiar song; I know I have heard it before but I am unable to pin when and where. Perhaps the bucket is overflowing in the bath and the tap is still running; too bad. Some hawker is at the door, selling his goods; what is he selling, I am unable to make out…it’s still dark. Not even a sliver of light. I am still not out of my slumber. Perhaps I need a final wake up call.

‘You goanna get late if you don’t leave your bed right now’, a shrill, familiar shout with a thud on the table; I hit the panic button and get up immediately. My final call is here. This is Maa. Finished my tea and straight into the bathroom…tap is still running, radio is still on, Pa is still chanting mantras, Maa asking me to hurry up…this is the cacophony to which I get up every morning.

I wipe out my breakfast plate with last bite. This news reader in TV is reading news, very immaculately. She is trying her every bit to appear, to sound sensuous or she naturally is…? She is rolling her lips and a pencil is playing between her soft fingers. She is slowly rolling the pencil in her fingers and while she is doing it, her deep, intense, piercing eyes are calling me. Perhaps this is the only instance I enjoy listening to anything…

The cell phone rings and that means my office cab is here to pick me up. I pick my rucksack and get to the door. Maa sees me off. She is saying something. The words fall on my ear but I am so accustomed to the noise that now it doesn’t matter what noise is it and what does it have to say. My subconscious mind records it and reacts accordingly. I am not lost but I am receded…

The door opens and I am in the cab. An enthusiastic colleague greets me in a prolonged, ‘Gooood Mooorniiing’. I answer ‘Good Morning guys’. Perhaps the first words spoken since I woke up…

The RJ on radio is blurting idiotically. The colleague of mine switches station. Another RJ proves to be a bigger idiot. Next station; some song which has been played everyday at some station – they all sound so similar. 5 FM stations and all alike; stupid RJs, stale music and blatant nonsensical blurting; it sucks…

One of the 4 colleagues says something about the last night’s movie on TV and the discussion starts, which has to drag, making ways for newer topics to come, some controversial, some highly opinionated, some idiotic…

The day at the office is spent between brain storming sessions, cups of coffee, rock music, phones from clients, arguments with creative director over the concepts, discussions, gossips, bitching…mouths babbling and ears listening…or not listening…who knows.

Its dark now, but the atmosphere is still not calm. The long traffic jam, horn honking impatient cabbies, beggars at the traffic junctions, sometimes eunuchs and their hoarse voices…nothing has changed. Just like it was in the morning; just the dusk has given way to night…

At the diner table, the discussion is mostly dominated by only one member – The TV. Whatever the sucker says, we listen, unarguably. Post dinner, TV is still talking. Two hours after I hit the bed, TV is still talking. 4 hours after I hit the bed, TV is still talking. But perhaps I am sleeping…

This is the cacophonous crescendo I experience everyday, almost, with minor changes here and there. Every day of the week, for years. What do I do to run from it….yes run from it. I run from it. I don’t like it. This disturbs me; the calm spirit of life gets bruised and I want my peace back.

Every Sunday, around evening, I stroll to a near by railway station…what a freaky idea! A railway station to attain peace….yes that’s true. We have an abandoned railway station. Hardly a train passes by and if one does, it doesn’t carry a load full of people. It’s a goods train always carrying mute objects, which don’t disturb me. No one comes to this railway station, except some street dogs, which are equally silent as the goods loaded in the train. Perhaps the area is so stretched that an activity at one corner doesn’t affect the other corner. There is a bench on this single platform railway station. This bench is my friend for weekends. It gives me a relief and a feeling of nostalgia. It reminds me of days when the world was still calm, relatively. When I could still listen to my inner voice, when I could still find a peaceful corner in the world I lived in.
The air touches my ear and its humming sounds like music to me. The sky up there has hundreds of stars visible, the night has dawned on the railway station and the whole atmosphere has turned theatrical. The show has just started and I know it’s time for me to bid adieu to this for another week…

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